An Elven Queens Disorder
by DaylaIsMyName
Summary: Marissa, the Elven wife to Thranduil is suffering from Anorexia Nervosa and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Triggers are everywhere and Thranduil must try to save his beloved, before it gets too far.
1. The Day She Met Ana

Marissa's POV ~

I wake up one morning, only to discover that my king wasn't next to me. I rub my head where a headache resided the night before, I run my fingers through my messy but soft brown hair. I arise from the bed with a stumble, grab my golden comb and brush my hair into place, untangeling the knots and braiding my hair before recombing it back into place. I opened my closet, and have a look at my elven dresses, from white to light blue, to light pink. I then have a look at the robes and leggings, I grab my brown leggings and bottle green robe and quickly get myself dressed. I loved how I looked, I loved my body shape, I loved everything about me.

As I walk into the throne room, I glance at myself in the mirror. I smile then continue on my journey to meet my husband, as I pass the corridors of the castle, I start to wonder about our advisor who betrayed us. Who wanted me killed, who wanted to attack the kingdom, who basically wanted to take control of it.

As I enter the throne room, I'm greeted by a newborn elfs whimpers, and my husbands eyes meeting mine. I walk closer, a smile curling my lips as I do. I look down in the crib to see the babe awaken, holding his closed hands up towards me. I smile, lean down and kiss his forehead before going to fix some formula.

"How did you sleep, my dear?"

I shrug, shaking the bottle and putting it down on the table behind me.

"Good, I guess."

I pick up Legolas and hold him, gently shushing him as he starts squirming again. I pick up the bottle and put it to his lips, smiling as his mouth engulfs the tip and starts suckeling.

"Good baby."

Thranduil stared at me, I look up at him.

"Is there something bothering you, dear?"

I shake my head and look back down at my son, but once I feel my husbands eyes upon me once more, my heart seems to skip a beat when I look deep into his eyes.

"Really, Nothing's wrong, Thranduil, I promise."

He nods in acceptance, and smiles down at our child. His hand falls gently upon his head and ruffles the little tuff of blonde hair, the baby's eyes look at at his father, and back at me. We both smile down at him, Thranduil looks at me once more.

"May I feed him?"

I nod, and remove the half empited bottle from the babes mouth. I carefully hand the baby into the fathers open arms, I hold his head and gently place it so his head is upright, resting on Thranduil's arm. I give my king the bottle and he places it back into the mouth of our dear son, I watch the sight for a minute before fixing my own breakfast.

"He is adorable."

I nod, eating a spoonful of cereal and sitting down. Just then, the royal messenger comes to give us news about the newly arrived advisor.

"Sorry to disturb you my highness, but the advisor has arrived."

Thranduil nods and the messenger leaves, I begin to get somewhat concerned.

"What if he's like the last one? What if he's not even an elf at all?"

Just then, the advisor comes in. He looked like an elf, however, he could not be one.

"My majesty."

He bowed down before my husband, I push the dish away and have a sip of water. Thranduil looks towards me and nods, over to me. The advisor gets up and looks towards me, I give a sarcasrtic looking smile.

"my Queen."

I sigh quietly and move backwards when he pinches my stomach.

"By the looks of it, you need to loose that weight. You also have chubby cheeks, you can't rule looking like that. Get rid of it."

I swallow deep. Did he just call me 'fat'? As he leaves the room, I pinch the fat on my stomach and face. I gasp in shock when I find out that he's right. From then on, I was never the same. my whole life changed forever.


	2. Beginning Of A New Me

I sit on my throne next to Thranduil. I move the blue blankets from baby Legolas' mouth, who was trying to grasp the material with his tiny hands. I smile down and let out a small giggle, then I go back to thinking what the advisor said about my weight. I pinch my cheeks and my heart starts racing again, I feel as if I'm going to be sick all over the place. That's when I turn to my lord, at first I hesitate as I stare at his nicely shaped cheekbones. But I want my mind to be put at rest, so I grasp his robe covered arm in my hand. My heart begins to pump faster as I feel his eyes upon me, I shiver slightly as I feel his fingers brush on my wrist.

"What is wrong, my love?"

At first, I can't bring myself to tell him. I take a deep breath and exhale, come on, spit it out Marissa for goddness sake!

"Do...do you think I'm...fat?"

Thranduil stares at me up and down. He raises an eyebrow, his fingers brush against my wrist, and move down to my fingertips.

"Of course not!"

I stand up and look in the mirror that was hanging on the wall. I fix my hair, and focus my attention to my face. I pinch my cheeks, there's too much fat here! I pinch the fat underneith my chin, I'm so damn fat! I feel like crying, my heart has become broken at the sight of me. The reality of what I actually look like.

"What are you doing?"

It feels like I was stuck inside some timehole. I zoom back into reality, I turn and see Thranduil, the only man I trust holding our son.

"Nothing."

I glare back into the mirror, taking in one last picture of what I look like before going to the kitchen. I pick out my favourite mug with my name printed across it in Thranduil's handwriting. I get a teabag of green tea, place it into the mug and boil the water over the stove to heat it up a bit.

"What are you doing in there?"

I sigh at my husbands words, I walk back into the throne room.

"What? Am I not allowed to make myself a nice, warm cup of tea now?"

Thranduil looks at me and back down, his eyes were sorrowful. I begin to feel bad, so I walk up to him and place my hand on his shoulder. I smile at him as his eyes meet mine, I lean down and fool him by pretending to kiss his lips, instead I kiss his cheek but my lips touch the corner of his mouth.

"Hey! What about the lips?"

I giggle lightly, as I walk back into the kitchen to get my cup of tea. As I pour the water into the mug, the advisor who is known as Lucius is standing at the other side of the table, smirking at me.

"What do you want?"

He tuts and waves his finger, I take the teabag from the mug and place it in the trashcan. I back away slowly, as I see him come closer towards me.

"What have you eaten today, my queen?"

I gulp,

"What has it got to do with you?"

He stares at my hips, and pinches them. I slap his hand away,

"If you don't loose this weight, then I will tell your husband, the king, that you tried it on with me."

I was speechless. I couldn't believe what I was hearing!

"You wouldn't dare!"

He smirks at me again, and pinches my cheek. He tucks some of my brown hair behind my ear and whispers in my ear,

"Well then, loose it!"

Before he leaves, he taps the point of my ear and exits the kitchen. A few stray tears cascaded down my cheeks, I wiped them away with my hand, grab my mug and enter the throne room.


	3. Am I Bothered? SCHOOL STYLE!

**So this chapter is kind of like a parody of Cathrine Tates lauren cooper. If you haven't heard of it, look it up on Youtube! I might make another chapter of this parody.**

Marissa, although married to the king of Mirkwood, still had to go to school as she was still young, and it was her husbands law. Marissa sat down in the small classroom, she crossed her legging covered legs and placed the tip of the pen in her mouth. All of a sudden, she see's her husband enter the room following the teacher. She winks at Thranduil and blushes as he winks back at her.

Marissa's POV ~

I stare at my husband as he sits behind me, I have no idea why he is here.

"Hello class. Today, Thranduil, the king of Mirkwood is here to watch our class."

I sit up and sigh gently, tapping my pen on the wooden desk in front of me.

"So class, can anyone tell me what the council of Elrond is all about? Marissa?"

I look towards the teacher, who was an elf with shoulder length brown hair and hazel eyes.

"What?"

"What is the council of Elrond all about?"

I stare at the elfs in my class. They all stare at me with curious eyes, I look at every single one of them, then turn around and see my husband also looking at me.

"I don't know?"

The teacher looks astonished at the news, the other pupils sigh in disapointment.

"Come on, Marissa. You're there all the time."

I turn towards the elven girl beside me,

"Yeah, but it's not like I actually pay attention. All they talk about is politics, and who is going to be king or queen next. It's boring!"

"Marissa, you know it is important for us to discuss things like that!"

I turn around, holding the back of my chair so I don't fall off. His eyes held the look of sorrow in them.

"Yeah, but I don't think it is to be honest! Anyways, who is looking after Legolas?"

"About that..."

He trails off mid sentence, I shake my head and turn back around.

"Anyways, if you don't listen to the council again, I will change the rule about it being a king and queen ruling, and just make it king instead!"

The whole class went silent, I bite the tip of my pen once more, this time, I don't even bother turning around to face him. I slowly take the pen out of my mouth and place it on the desk in front of me, before inhaling and exhaling.

"Am I bothered?"

"Excuse me?"

"Am I bothered though?"

"Well..."

I turn around and face Thranduil who looked so confused.

"Look at my face right, look at my face, look at my face, does my face look bothered?"

"No?"

"That's because I aint bothered!"

My husband shakes his head and places his hand on his forehead,

"But you have to listen, my love!"

"But am I bothered though?"

"Good god! I hope her mother was still ruling as queen over her OWN kingdom!"

"Are you disrespecting me?"

"What?"

"Are you calling my mum a slag?"

"What? No!"

"Are you calling me useless?"

"No.."

"Look at my face right, look at my face, I aint bothered! Look at my face right, look at my face, face not bothered, king, queen, aint even bothered. Look at my face right, look at my face, Mirkwood, elfs, healers, school, ruling, council of Elrond. .BOTHERED!"

The classroom still remains silent. I sit back in my hair, smiling to myself in triumph of winning this argument again. Sure, we had it before!

"I'm so sorry about this, I shall take her home."

I gasp as Thranduil grasps a hold of my wrist, and takes me from my seat, and out of the classroom.


	4. Bulimia and OCD

When we get home, I sit in my throne and notice Legolas in his crib in the middle of mine and Thranduil's throne awake and gumming the ear of a teddy bear.

"Awe! How's my cute little baby?"

I gently tap his nose, and he scrunches his nose and tightly closes his eyes for a moment, before reopening them to look at me and his father again. I look up and see the nanny, she was a young elven girl. She had long blonde hair and green eyes, reminded me of nature.

"He was an angel! Wish my sisters children were that good."

"Thank you." Thranduil says and shows her the way out, the place goes quiet for a few minutes. I look back down at the babe, and see that he has fallen asleep grasping onto the teddys arm for dear life. I giggle and stroke the little tuff of blonde hair on his head, before gently kissing his tiny forehead, making sure that I don't wake him up again. That's when my husband comes back into the room, I glare at him.

"What in the name of Elrond was THAT?!"

I shrug, I dare not make eye contact with him.

"Have you no shame?"

Then, I look up and swiftly turn around. My silky smooth hair gently hitting against my cheeks as I do so,

"Actually, I do. I'm ashamed that you took my virginity. I'm ashamed that I ended up giving birth to a child that I had no choice whether I wanted to keep it or not, and last of all, I'm ashamed that I married a miserable old sod like YOU!"

I didn't see it coming. Those words really made a difference in my life from then onwards. One immediate blow across my cheek extended my mind. I held my cheek and looked into the eyes of my spouse, I saw the look in his eyes. His eyes holding the expression of irritation and rage, my hair covered half of my face. Legolas started to cry over the noise that we made arguing, as Thranduil went to shush him, I ran to my room holding my cheek, making few elves stare at him in wonder.

When I got to my room, I looked at myself in the mirror. A red mark was where his hand touched me, it looked as if it was bruising up slightly. Then I looked in the full length mirror, by god I wish I didn't! I saw fat. I undid my robes and pinched the belly fat that resided, lord knows what that was doing to my insides. Maybe...maybe Thranduil striked me because I'm fat?

I put my robe back on and ran to the bathroom. I kneeled down and looked at the clear water inside, I stick two fingers down my throat and keep them there. I started to gag, a horrible feeling. As I kept gagging, salvia gathered around my fingers and dribbed into the toilet. The further I went, the more salvia came out. I start to gag every second now, I get a sickly feeling in my stomach, and then I vomit. Just vomit everything that I ate that day. It didn't last long, when I finished vomitting, I look at my fingers which were covered. I put them back in my mouth and vomit again, I kept doing it. I couldn't stop. I could feel steamy hot tears cascade down my cheeks every second I was doing it, my nose started to run and I began to sweat. I got carried away. I reopned my burning eyes and saw that there was no vomit, but blood. I looked back at my fingers that were now dripping with blood. I finally knew that I was emptied. I flushed the chain of the toilet, and washed my hands obsessively.

It wasn't enough. I grabbed the scented oils and scrubbing brush, I poured the scented oils on my hands, front and back, and as the cold water touched, I scrubbed my knuckles and fingers. I was doing it rapidly, on both hands. I must have been doing that for at least several minutes when I finally stopped. When I dried off my hands, my knuckles and fingers were covered in scrapes and scratches that produced spots of newly formed blood. I go back into the room of me and my spouse, and lie down of the bed, trying to forget everything that had happened that day.


	5. Apologize

I awake to discover that the person that struck me was stroking my hair, I flinch afraid that he will hit me again. I feel his hand cup my sore cheek, and gently kiss it.

"I'm sorry, my love."

I don't say anything, nor show any facial expression. I stare up at him, feeling the warm touch on my cold skin.

"I never meant to hurt you that way."

I try to speak, but I only get shushed by him. Thranduil takes my hands in his, and rubs his fingers on my skin torn knuckles.

"What is this?"

I see concern plastered all over his face. I sigh and look towards the wall, I feel the cool breeze that made me shiver.

"Did I make you do this?"

I shake my head for no, I'm not going to tell him the real reason behind why I did it.

"I did it because I wanted the germs off me."

He raises an eyebrow at me, he runs his fingers through my soft hair.

"Germs? What germs?"

I shake my head,

"It doesn't matter. I just like being clean, that is all."

He nods his head in acceptance, and looks back down to my hands. He then turns them over to reveal the palm of my hands that were scratched and red, I could feel his tense up. This is already hurting him. I can tell.

"Hold me please."

He looks at me for a second, before wrapping his strong, muscular arms around me and pressing me to his chest. I listen to his heart beat, it was fast but a minute after holding me, it slowed back down to normal again. I close my eyes for a few minutes, and reopen them and look up at my lover.

"Thranduil?"

"Hm?"

I could feel his hand hold the back of my head which was pressing me towards him, and the other hand was holding my back to make sure that I didn't try to slip away from his clutches.

"I love you. I always want you to know that."

I feel heated lips press against my forehead, then a few drops of water, which was his tears.

"I love you too."

He choked when he said that, he's like this now, I dread to think what he is going to be like when he finds out about my disorder.


	6. Discovering Anorexia Nervosa

Me and Thranduil step out of the carriage, Thranduil was holding baby Legolas, who asleep like always. I had my hair took up in a ponytail, and curled bangs. I didn't bother with my cape today, but it was so cute because Legolas was wearing a brown baby one. I walked forward, smiling and occasionally stopping to talk with some of the kingdom people. They were all so thin and perfect, I looked at the perfectly formed cheekbones and collarbones they held. My husband came up behind me,

"I have to go now."

"Okay! Nice talking with you, my majesty." This one elven girl said, she looked in her teenage years. She bowed down to me and my lover who gave her a nod, before she walked away.

Me and Thranduil carried on walking, with a slightly squirming Legolas in his arms. We walk on when an elven chef comes towards us with a tray of freshly cooked food,

"My highness. Could you give your opinion on this?"

I look it. I inhale it's scent. To me, it smelled disgusting. It looked horrible! I smile trying to mask the sickening smell, and wave my hand up.

"No thank you. I'm not hungry."

I quickly rush away, Thranduil bows his head and follows me.

"Marissa!"

I couldn't hold it in anymore. I went behind a tree and threw up, this time, I didn't make myself sick. I sense somebody beside me, I vomitted a watery like substance.

"Marissa, are you okay?"

When I finish, I wipe my eyes that were once again burning. I couldn't see right, my eyesight was blurred. I nodded and fixed my robe, I fixed my bangs.

"Yeah I'm fine. I'm just feeling sick, that is all."

Thranduil nods, but still looks worried.

"Seriously? Theres nothing else wrong?"

"No. I'm sure."

I stumble as I get off the tree that was previously supporting me, I raise a hand that said that I was okay.

"I think we need to go and see a healer."

As we walked back through the kingdom, my heart began racing. It was almost in my mouth! I look at the elven people whose eyes were all focused on me.

"She looks sick."

"Look at the dark circles around her eyes."

"What happened to her hands? They look terribly harmed."

"She has sure lost a lot of weight recently. Has she been starving herself?"

Thranduil didn't seem to notice these voices, either that, or he just chose to ignore them. I carried on walking dispite everything spinning, the elfs warped into unreconigsable blobs. An elf tapped Thranduil on the shoulder and pointed towards me, I was walking but I was moving as if I was drunken. Thranduil handed our little Legolas to the man, and went to get a healer. Suddenly, I couldn't stand anymore. My legs give way and I ended up on the floor unconcious.

"Marissa? Can you hear me?"

My eyes were open slightly, but my vision was still blurred. My hearing was now echoing, I couldn't focus, I was out of it. A bright light was flashed in my right eye, then my left. When the light left, I closed my eyes fully. I felt my right hand being touched by a warm one, it was warm like the sun. I could feel my wrist being squeezed, then my hand was being held while two fingers were pressed on the side of my neck.

"Marissa, if you can hear me, squeeze my hand."

I wish I could. I really do. But all my strength was gone. I fell into a deep sleep, I could no longer hear nor open my eyes.

The healer stood up and looked to the crowd of elves, my son and then my husband. He got out his cellphone, which indicated that he was actually a human, helping heal the elves. He dialed a few numbers and put the communicator to his ear,

"Can we get someone out here? Pick her up and take her to the nearest recovering center."

"What is going on?" Thranduil asked impatiently, awaiting an answer as to why I got like this.

"She has a deadly disorder."

The elves gasped, they had never heard of disorders before, yeah illnesses, but never mental disorders.

"What...what is that?"

"She has Anorexia Nervosa. it is a deadly eating disorder, it is very common among the human world. Since she is only half elven, she can still die through this disease. We need to get her to the nearest recovery center as soon as possible."

Thranduil's heart broken. Tears cascaded down his cheeks as he looked down at me, I was still breathing but barely alive. I wish this would end.


	7. Recovery

I wake up to hear hospital beeps, it sounded as if they were deliberatley being sounded into my ears. I open my eyes and see Thranduil sitting in a chair beside my bed, asleep. I reach and gently brush my fingertips on his robes, then I gently sqeezue his knee. He awakes with a jolt, and looks into my eyes with disbelief.

"Ma...Marissa?"

I nod my head, smiling faintly.

"Last time I checked I was."

His eyes well up with joy and happiness, he holds my hand, and rubs his fingers against my knuckles.

"Are you okay, my love?"

I nod my head, then I see a tube in my arm. I look up and see a drip, a clear drip.

"What is that?"

Thranduil takes a breath, then smiles as he looks at me.

"It's a drip. It's feeding you."

My heart starts to beat fast again. I feel like I'm having a panic attack, the life support machine goes faster. Thranduil gets up and rushes to the door to call a healer in, I hold my chest and try to relax but I couldn't.

"Alright, Marissa. Breathe. Relax."

I take deep breaths and lie back down again, Thranduil kisses my forehead, and puts his head to mine.

"It's alright. It's nothing serious. She just had a panic attack."

"I don't want to be fed."

"But you have to, my queen. If you don't, then you will die for sure."

I pause for a few, just thinking. What do I really want? To recover and be fat, or to fail recovery and remain thin?

"I don't care. You will make me fat again, I would rather be dead than to get better."

Thranduil then breaks down into tears. I feel bad, but it's what I want, not what anyone else wants.

"You don't mean that, my majesty. Just get some rest."

I couldn't help but keep thinking about the drip. What my advisor would say to my spouse, but also, what I would look like after recovery. I dreaded every minute of it. I wish I didn't faint in front of everyone. I feel so embarrassed.

Back at Mirkwood, everyone was talking. Mostly about what had happened, and what hospital their queen was in.

"I feel sorry for that poor baby."

"Same, but you heard what the healer said. She has an eating disorder. It's hard for her to control it."

Lucius, the advisor, was in his cabin, smirking to himself.


	8. Escaping

I awake with my sister beside me instead of my husband, I smile at her I've not seen her for so long.

"Hey, you."

She smiles back at me, but I could see that she was not very happy with what I was doing to myself.

"What have you done?"

I turn away and decide not to reply to her, instead I think of an idea. To get out of here. Once and for all.

"Please take me out of here."

I pleaded, I look up at her with begging eyes. She nods.

"Yeah, when you're better."

"NO!"

She looks at me, I felt so helpless. I wanted so bad to get out of here, but nobody was going to help me anytime soon, she was the only person I knew that could get me out.

"If I stay in here, I'll get fat again. Please get me out of here, nobody would suspect anything."

She pauses for a bit, thinking. She looks at my drip, and then looks at me. My eyes were begging her to get me out, they started to well up with tears of hopelessness, that's when she nods in acceptance.

"Yeah. Okay then."

I smile, glad that she is going to help me escape this torture house.

Thranduil's POV -

I sit on my throne, occasionally observing the empty one beside me. I imagine my wife sat there like she always would be, if she was here now, she would be cradeling Legolas. I moved his crib next to my throne, I look inside and see the little babe looking up at me with dark orbs. I smile and stroke his cheek, his head turned as he tried to put my finger in his mouth. This made me laugh ever so slightly, I then lean down and pick him up, holding him very close to my chest.

"I'll protect you, little one. Don't be afraid."

I kiss his blonde hair, he looked like his mother, but he inherited my eye and hair colour. I stroke his hair, as gently as I could. His tiny hands try to grip onto my hair, I laugh as he does so.

"Legolas, you are very special."

Marissa's POV -

Finally, me and my sister was out of the center. She tried to support me to walk, but I told her that I was okay.

"I thought we were going to get caught for sure."

She doesn't say anything in return, just sits down next to me.

"So, what now?"

I shrug, in the distance, I see elven children running around freely, which made me trigger my memory of Legolas.

"I guess I'll have to go back to Legolas and Thranduil."

My sister nods,

"Well whatever choice you make, always remember that I'm here for you."

I nod, thanking her as I leave for Mirkwood. She watches as I walk off into the distance, alone.

I come to the castle doors. I touch the wood, feeling my fingertips being pricked by the unnoticable splinters coming off. I push the doors open, and I'm brought to the throne room immediently. I see Thranduil holding our child, I smile brightly as he looks at me. I run over to him, he lays Legolas down and I jump into his arms.

"How are you?"

I snuggle deep into him, inhaling his scent.

"I'm better now."

He kisses my hair, and nods.

"Good."

If only he knew.


	9. Legolas Teething

"Ssh. It's okay, mummy's here."

I pick up Legolas and cradle him while holding his head, I know that he wasn't hungry, needed changing or tired as he just had a nap.

"What's wrong, sweety?"

I place my hand upon his forehead, he wasn't burning up. I take a look at his cheeks, which were flaming red.

"Awe. Poor baby. I'm sorry, there's nothing I can do."

He continues to scream, grabbing onto my robe. I want to help him, but I am helpless to do so. I stroke his hair and take him to mine and Thranduil's room, my spouse was sitting in bed. Naked. I sit on our bed and cradle our son, turning to Thranduil.

"Legolas looks like he is teething."

I handed the child to his father, who kissed his forehead. As Legolas listening to his father's heartbeat, he relaxed and his screams turned to soft breathing. He handed him back to me, and I placed him in his crib beside our bed.

"We will have to take him to a healer tomorrow."

I nod, letting my hair loose. I straighten my comb beside Thranduil's, that's when I notice the eyeshadow pigments over the dressing table.

"Be right back!"

I leave the room with no other explanation, other than returning with a wet cloth. Thranduil raises an eyebrow as I wipe the table down repeatedly.

"Why are you cleaning at this time?"

"Look, I have only just returned and I find this mess!"

I hear him sigh, and the candle goes out. I continue to wipe the table down, often going out and returning with more wet cloths than I had before. I wiped down the walls as high as I could reach, before getting in bed and snuggeling up to my husband.

"Yes. He is teething."

Legolas stared up at the elven healer with his dark orbs, Thranduil held him close.

"Is there anything you can do to help the pain calm down?"

The healer shook his head,

"I am afraid not."

He then touches Legolas' head and smiles,

"I know it hurts, little one. But you are going to have to bear with us, okay?"

Legolas made a cute noise in return, making us laugh lightly.

"Thank you for your help."

Thranduil nods his head and the healer bows, Thranduil leaves and waits outside the tent for me.

"Marissa, you look awfully pale."

I don't say a word. I know what he's onto.

"May I weigh you?"

My eyes widen, and I give him a look of shock and fear.

"I'm afraid of being weighed."

The healer grabs my wrist, his fingers closing from tip to tip.

"5 Stone."

I try and quickly get away and just go home.

"Marissa, I am worried for your health."

"I'M FINE!"

I meet Thranduil outside the tent, he stares at me in confusion.

"Is everything alright?"

I nod, smiling. We walk on, just forgetting all of our troubles for the day.

When we return home, Thranduil winks at me and takes Legolas to our room. When I turn around, I see Lucius.

"My queen."

I back away, he walks forward towards me, I grib onto the throne and he squares up in my face.

"Lost any weight?"

I nod.

"How much?"

I gulp,

"I'm five stone now."

"Well done. Looks like Thranduil won't be finding out about your 'affair' any time soon."

He walks away laughing to himself, tears stream down my face. I'm scared of him.


	10. You're burning up, You're burning down

I get out of bed and take off my bed robes until I have nothing on but leggings, I climb back into bed and press myself again Thranduil's back. I feel him tense up, I kiss his shoulder and inhale his scent. I close my eyes and smile to myself, I feel Thranduil turn around and get on top of me.

"Hello, beautiful."

I giggle, he leans down to kiss me. I kiss back and wrap my arms around his back, and feel his soft skin on my fingertips. He moves down and kisses my neck, I moan quietly and giggle.

"Okay. Enough now, love."

He moves back up to my lips and kisses me again, before laying on top of me and falling asleep. I stroke his skin, and soon end up falling asleep myself.

In the morning, I awake without Thranduil beside me or Legolas in his crib. Why does that elf always awake before me? I shiver and put a thick robe on with thicker leggings, I rub my hands together which only made it worse. I felt like an icecube. My hunger left me weeks ago, so that didn't bother me at the moment. I walk to the throne room, and sit down on my throne.

"Good morning, my love."

I kiss his lips, softly and gently, just teasing him.

"Awe, Come on!"

I shake my head,

"Nu uh!"

He laughs at me and I laugh back, I do find myself funny at times.

"Hey, we have to go to a meeting at Elrond soon."

"Oh give my strength!"

He puts a hand on my shoulder, I place my hand on top of his.

Everyone was silent. I sat next to Thranduil, tapping my foot on the floor, making a distruptive sound.

"Could you please stop doing that?"

I turn to the the elf that said that, I give him a dirty look before looking back at the floor.

"Marissa please."

I just get up and leave. I wasn't going to listen to this all the time I was there. I pick up baby Legolas and go home. Where I belonged.


	11. The Advisor Made me Do It

"Let me go!"

Lucius held my head back by my hair, and shoved a twig down it. I gagged, and he laughed when I vomitted.

"You fat cow!"

He kept shoving the twig down my throat, constant vomitting made my eyes water up and my face went red and burned up. He smirked as he did this, I grabbed his arm and took it away along with the twig. I coughed and held my chest as I tried to catch my breath.

"You did it."

I look up at him with watery eyes, I coughed and spluttered and evantually got my breath.

"You bastard."

He kissed my cheek, and walked away. I wipe it off me with the sleeve of my robe is disguist, I don't even eat anymore. Why did he make me do that? I stumble into the town, once again, I could not stand up. I didn't even have the strength.

"Are you okay, Marissa?"

I nod my head, I cough once again.

"Come on."

The healer leads me into a tent, where I had a checkup. He checked my pulse, and my temperature.

"You are sick, Marissa. Seriously sick."

"I feel fine though."

The healer looked as if he had had enough of what I was saying,

"You are NOT well enough to be here!"

I flinch at the anger, remembering the time when Thranduil hit me. The healer got up and my natural instint was to shield my face.

"Don't hit me please!"

The healer looks at me, concerned. I start to cry. He sits back down,

"Is something going on at home?"

I shake my head, I continue to cry and slowly put my hands back down.

"I love him."

"I know you do."

I get up and go out of the tent to go back home.

"Marissa?"

Thranduil strokes my dry, brown hair. I smile at him slightly, he smiles back at me.

"Are you okay?"

I nod, I want to tell him the truth. To tell him, or not to tell him?

"The advisor made me vomit. He made me starve myself."

Thranduil stares at me in shock.

"Why? How?"

"He told me that if I didn't loose weight, he would tell you that I cheated on you when I never, and he shoved a twig down my throat."

I dread what will happen now.


	12. I will always love you

"You bastard!"

My husband takes a punch at Lucius, busting his lip.

"You made MY wife STARVE herself to DEATH!"

Lucius laughed evilily, as he always did. He wiped the blood from his lip, and squared up in Thranduil's face.

"You care for her?"

Thranduil's eyes held anger, hatred, irritation. Lucius, however, laughed in his face.

"She's no good for you, My king."

Thranduil grabbed Lucius by his collar and threw him out of the castle, making the local elves stop and stare in wonder of what was happening.

"Don't you EVER come back HERE!"

The guards slammed the castle doors shut, leaving Lucius spitting out blood and walking away, casually eyeing up the female elves on his way.

I sat up in bed, shushing Legolas who was once again disturbed by the racket. I stroked his soft, blonde hair, and kissed his forehead, holding him close to my chest. Just then, Thranduil, the one man I have truly ever loved entered the room.

"It's okay. He's gone now."

I nod my head, though I wasn't convinced that it had ended yet. When Legolas set his tear filled eyes on his father, his tiny arms tried to reach for him. I laughed lightly, and handed the babe over to his role model.

I smiled as I saw the sight of Thranduil and Legolas staring at each other, Thranduil was smiling down at his child, while Legolas made cute noises. I laughed quietly, my heart filled up with pride and love.

"He's handsome, just like his father."

Thranduil looked up at me and nodded his head, before kissing Legolas' scrunched up nose. After that, he lay him back down in his crib.

"Ssh."

The baby boy fell fast asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow, I looked down at the child. So peaceful, without a care in the world.

"Are you feeling better?"

I nodded my head and smiled at my lover,

"Yes."

Thranduil kissed my forehead, I wrapped my pale, skinny arms around his neck pulling him closer. Our foreheads met, and we kissed. At first it was soft and sweet, but then he had to bite my lip. I moaned, and he slipped his tongue in. My spouse gently pressed his body against mine, making me lay down. He put his hands beside my head for balance, I wrapped my legs around his back, making his organ grow hard.

"Not now."

Thranduil, upon hearing those words, pouted. I giggled and poked his cheek, we kissed once more and left it at that.

"So, you don't want to-"

"Nope!"

Thranduil lay down next to me, I shivvered and he wrapped his arm around my bony shoulder, pulling me close to him.

"I love you, Thranduil."

I felt him tense up, then relax. I heard him sniffle, and try to choke back tears.

"I love you too, Marissa."

I too started to sniff, and soon enough tears slide down my cheeks and met with his skin.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

I shook my head,

"Nothing. It's just the first time you ever said that to me."

He lifted my face up by my chin,and gently kissed me.

"I will always love you, Marissa. Don't you forget it either."

I nodded, and lay my head on his shoulder once more. I could feel my cheek bones, and it was very uncomfortable. I want this to stop, but to me, it's far too late now.


	13. Fading

I awake, and finally see Thranduil by my side for once. I rub my eyes and once again feel cold as an icecube, I smile down at him and move strands of blonde hair from his face. I look down at his bare body, muscular and bright. I gently kiss his cheek, before climbing out of bed and getting dressed. I head down to the throne room, where I am meeted by three elves. I back away and one takes three steps forward, towards me.

"Marissa, we are very worried about your health."

"I am fine."

"That's not what everyone else thinks."

I give them the look of evil eyes, as I shivvered.

"So your going to listen to them, are you?"

He nods.

"We have no other choice. Look at you, you look tired and cold."

"And as I said before, I am fine. if you do not wish to leave it at that, I could always have you executed."

"As you wish, my queen."

The three bow before leaving, I stare at them the whole time. They left slowly, gracefully walking. The guards shut and lock the doors behind them, I return to mine and Thranduil's room, where he was getting dressed in his robes and putting his crown on.

"What was that all about?"

I shake my head,

"It's nothing."

He nods his head, leaving the topic at rest. He envolped me in his arms, and kissed my lips.

"You look beautiful."

I smile, my cheeks glowing pink instead of pale white. He pinches what was left of my cheeks, before kissing them on both sides.

"I love you, Marissa."

"I love you too, Thranduil."

We both walk hand in hand outside the castle doors, we were greeted by cheers of the people in our kingdom. Thranduil wrapped his arm around my shoulder, pulling me close as I smiled, finally happy for once.

"Congratulations!"

I look up at my husband, and smile at my people.

"For what?"

Thranduil puts his hand on my robe covered shoulder, and smiles down at me.

"For our anniversary, of course!"

I smile brightly once more, I couldn't believe I could ever be this happy. I wrapped my arm around Thranduil's back, and he pulled me even closer, and kissed my hair.

After the celebration in the town, I brushed my hair with my comb. I undid the braids brushing the wavy sections of hair. As I brushed through my hair, I felt something come out. I immediantly stopped, and took the comb from my hair. I looked at the comb which held strands of brown hair, not a hair has fell out of place, not once. Why does it start happening now? Then, I understand why. I place my comb down, and run my fingers through my hair, only bringing out more loose strands of hair. I brush my bed robes down, and climb into bed waiting for Thranduil.

Thranduil's POV -

I pick up my infant heir from the crib, and gently pat his back while holding him close. His hand grips my hair lightly, and lets go. I kissed his hair as he did so, and walked to the bedroom. As I closed the door silently behind me, Legolas started to gum at my robe. I smile and gently guide the robes out of his mouth and place him in his crib beside our bed, I tuck him in and place a small, soft teddy in his hands. He instantly grabbed the arm of the teddy and put the ear in his mouth, gently chewing.

I turn and look at my sleeping wife. She looked so peaceful, I undress myself and climb into bed next to her. I wrapped my arms around her body, and pulled her closer to me so she felt the heat on my body on hers. She felt as cold as snow, and her pale skin almost glowed in the dark. I kiss her head, and fall asleep, feeling her ribs rise and fall again.


	14. Sophie

**This chapter is a songfic of the song 'Sophie', hence the chapter name. If you are easily saddened, feel free to stop reading whenever you feel like it. The first half is Marissa's memories, the second half is her current state. Enjoy!**

_Sophie cannot finish her dinner, she says she's eaten enough._

We sit at the table for breakfast, I push the berries around on the dish. I feel depressed, fed up, a failure at life. I grab a handful and watch as they slowly fall back down on top of each other, bouncing to the side of the dish.

"I feel full up now."

Thranduil looks at me with saddened eyes,

"You've only eaten one berry, my love."

I shrug. I didn't care.

_Sophie's trying to make herself thinner, says she's eating too much._

"I don't care."

"Well you should!"

"Well I don't so there! I'm eating too much at once, I'm so fat."

I look at my wrists, the bones were sticking out but it wasn't enough. There was berry juice all over my hand from squishing them in my palm, I stare at my bony fingers. I feel so sad.

_And her brother says, "You're joking", and her mothers heart is broken_

Thranduil touches my shoulder, I smile at him slightly.

"You are not fat."

I ignore him, he wouldn't tell me the truth. Nobody would. Not even my own mother, if she was still alive. But I can feel her, everyday of my life, I can feel her guiding me to my destiny. Of what I was supposed to turn out to be.

_Sophie has a hard time coping, and besides, sophie's hoping, _

I remember when I gave birth to Legolas. I had gone through hours of blood,sweat and pain for a gorgeous, handsome baby boy. I just couldn't cope.

It was in the middle of the night, and Legolas had started crying. He wasn't screaming, just crying. It broke my heart to see him that way, I got up and picked him up. His limbs struggeling, trying to get away from my hold. I quickly put him down on the bed, when Thranduil took over. I went into the throne room and started crying, I was never going to be a good mother to the child. or so I thought. I just hope to be perfect one day, perfect for everybody. Perfect for Thranduil. Perfect for Legolas. Perfect for myself.

_she can be like all the other girls. Be just like all the other girls, living in an ordinary world, just to fit in, in the ordinary world, just to fit in, like an ordinary girl._

I walk with my sister in the town. We had our capes on, we both had our hoods down. I look around and see perfect looking female elves, high cheekbones, collarbones, ribs showing from their dresses. I sigh.

"It's not fair."

"What isn't?"

"I want to be as good as them."

My sister looks towards them, then she looks at me.

"And you can be. Just believe in yourself."

I sigh and shrug my shoulders, and we move on.

_Sophie's losing weigh by the minute, how did things get this bad? Sophie's family, they don't understand it, gave her all that they had._

I currently lie in bed, blankets over me with thick bed robes on in hopes of keeping me warm. It was never meant to go this far, I just didn't want Thranduil believing something that I never did. I turn and look towards my husband, who gave me a reassuring smile.

"It's going to be okay."

I nod, struggeling to believe that now. I shiver under the bed covers, and he tucks me in and strokes my hair, which had now gone thinner and dry. I could see the look in his eyes. The look of sadness, sorrow, heartache and greif. I rub my hands together, my fingers had now gone bony and brittle.

_And her sister won't stop crying, because her father says she's dying._

I get a checkup by my father, who was a trained healer. He checked my pulse, temperature and weight. He gets Thranduil and my sister out of the room, following behind them.

"She doesn't have very long."

Thranduil sits down and cups his face with his hands, my sister just cries. When they reenter the room, my sister just breaks down with our father comforting her. I turn towards Thranduil and give him a smile, he smiles back, trying hard to mask the pain of loosing me.

_Sophie says she's really trying, problem is, Sophie's lying._

Thranduil puts a dish of soup on a tray for me, along with berries. I feel sick at the scent and look, I want to be sick. Thranduil grabs a spoon, puts it in the soup and feeds it to me. I feel disgusted with myself. I swallow and take in three more mouthfuls before refusing again,

"Come on, Marissa. It will make you feel better."

"I don't feel better though. I feel sick."

"You have to try!"

"I am trying!"

Thranduil being the type to drop things, took away the tray of soup and berries, crying to himself. I start to feel bad about it, maybe I should have ate them. I do feel hungry again. But then I remember the sickness it gave me, and my hunger lasted no more.


	15. Forever And Always

_How did she get this way? How did she get this way? Though trying to hide it._

In bed, I looked fatter than what I was. My bed robes had gone massive on me, I lost so much weight in such a short space of time. I want to get better. I do. I really really do! Thranduil held my hand, I am now in a healing ward for observation. After how I behaved yesterday, they said that they could do no more to help me. I start crying as I remember the times back when I was healthy, Thranduil shushes me and holds me close to him, he kisses my forehead and strokes my hair.

_What does it take to say, what does it take to say, she's dying, Sophie's dying..._

"She can no longer be treated, my king."

Thranduil nods his head in acceptance, he didn't want to accept it but he knew that that is how is was supposed to be. He walks back into my room, and I open my eyes slightly to look at him. I no longer had the strength to move. I already felt dead. Thranduil holds my hand in his,

"I want you to remember that I will always love you. I would never remarry, nor have children with any other woman."

I smile at him,

"You promise?"

He nods,

"I promise."

A healer then came into the room, I look towards the healer, at baby Legolas then back at Thranduil.

"I love you, Thranduil."

He rubs his fingers against my blue, bony knuckles.

"I love you too, Marissa. Forever and always. I mean it from the bottom..of my heart."

He starts to cry. Tears stream down his face, I too began to cry but no tears escaped. After a few minutes, I stop crying. I begin to feel extremely tired.

"Thranduil, I'm sleepy."

He nods and tucks the blankets in the bed. He then kisses my pale lips, and strokes my cheek. He knew.

"Marissa?"

Thranduil put his hand on my pale shoulder, he gently shook me but I did not move. He stroked my hair, then my cheek, but I was cold to the touch. He ran out of the room,

"Help!"

Within thirty seconds, a healer comes rushing in. He cheks my pulse, then begins CPR, breathing into my mouth and pressing down on my chest.

"Is she going to be alright?"

The healer did not reply. Instead, he carried on with trying to ressustate me.

Thranduil was outside the room. He was pacing up and down, until a healer came out. Thranduil puts his hands in his hair and began to cry, he cupped his face in his hands and stayed that way for a minute. He got up and walked into the room I was previously inside, he stroked my hair once more.

"I'm sorry I didn't help you, Marissa. I still love you, I'm keeping my promise about remarrying and having more children. I would never do it. My heart still lies with you, forever and always."

He leans down and kisses my dead, frozen lips. He holds my ice cold hand in his before leaving.


	16. Return?

A now grown Legolas sat beside his father. His father looked at the paintings of his wife. So young and so fair. Legolas smiled at his father,

"It's okay, father."

Thranduil nodded,

"Sometimes I still feel like she's here, son. Here with us. Watching over us."

"And she is."

Thranduil smiled at his son,

"She gave me a handsome heir to my throne."

"And I was blessed to have you both as my parents."

Legolas looks at the paintings of his father, mother and him as a baby. He smiles, and looks out of the window to the bright, blue sky.

"Mother, I hope you can hear us."

A young girl takes her first steps into Mirkwood. She inhales and exhales the scent of fresh flowers, and summer air. Her pink elven dress cascading the grass as she lightly walked onwards. Then, she came to the castle where Thranduil and Legolas resided.

"It's good to be home."

She smiled. She looked exactly like Marissa, Thranduil's wife. She had everything. She was more happier now then what she was, in her previous life.


End file.
